Facebook is essentially a glorified MySpace that focuses on the immediate connections in your life, and is what I refer to as a “closed” social networking site. By closed I simply mean that unless you know who you’re looking for, it’s almost impossible to browse random people (unless their profile is set to public) looking to make new connections. It exists, I suppose, to centralise the communication between your friends so that they can always see what you’re doing and who you’re doing it with. In a world where shitty TV shows like “Big Brother” are highly successful, it’s quite logical to see why Facebook is also successful. Success doesn’t make something good, however, and Facebook is indeed a steaming pile of shit.

So why is it shit?

Firstly, because it’s closed. If I’m bored with the people in my life, it’s the 6 degrees of seperation, again. If I want to find someone new, I have to look at friends of friends of friends, and even then they’re all going to know each other, so I’m never really meeting anyone “new”. Yes, there are some subtle features that allow you to view categories and things like artists or interests - but when the majority of profiles are only accessible by people in the same network this defeats the entire fucking purpose of doing that. I don’t want to meet up with people who know through a friend of a friend that I got herpes last year. Dammit.

Facebook allows those assholes you were trying to avoid from High School to contact you. You know EXACTLY who i’m talking about, right? Everyone has at least a handful of people you couldn’t fucking stand at school but yet couldn’t seem to get rid of, and the morbid curiosity within you accepts them as friends, just so you can see how fucked up they’ve become since you last saw them 10+ years ago. In the same light, you can take a look at all those people you thought were “hot” at school, and see what a mess they’ve made of their lives. That hot guy/girl who’s become an obese, greasy piece of shit, and now a single parent of 3. Maybe one or 2 of them became really slim, and hot, and have travelled the world making your life look incredibly boring and pathetic. Either way, it’s depressing. I don’t fucking WANT to talk to these people, let alone allow them to see what I’ve been doing and what I subsequently will get up to - whilst masturbating over my pictures. Sheesh.

Status updates are a hilariously pathetic way to tell all of your friends what you’re up to at any time. Yeah, because we all want to know that you’re “on your way home from work”. Fucking enticing stuff, isn’t it? And the updates are always pathetically lame and usually miserable;

“is rlly unhappy wiv life. y cant ppl be nice 2 each ova?”
“hates his job”
“hates her kids”

Why can’t friends have updates that people may actually find interesting?

“just tried anal sex for the first time and its NOTHING like it is in porno. messy stuff.”
“just cheated on my girlfriend for someone far more attractive. perhaps if you’d lost some fucking weight you fat bitch, I wouldn’t have been looking elsewhere?”
“wishes their grandmother would die and leave them their inheritance already. having to listen to you bitch and whine about the cancer just isn’t worth the hassle. I’m not sure how much more I can take.”

And holy mother of God. The fucking notifications. “Give your friend a special gift now!” Yeah, because nothing says I value our friendship more than a fucking digital image of some chocolate, that took me all of 1.2 seconds to click and send to you and everyone else I know. That’s friendship baby. No, I honestly do NOT fucking care that you played “How big is my e-peen?” and got a score of 0.8 inches. Do I want to play too? Do you want to eat my ass with a spoon? Thought not.

“Jane has commented on Sara’s” photo. Wait, who the fuck is Sara? Why are photo comments always the fucking same boring and mundane bullshit?

“Awww, how cute you look!”
“What a fucking excellent night that was!”
“Who is that bozo in the background?”

Again, people should reply with far more interesting and accurate comments:

“Wow, you had some excellent cleavage going on there that night. That’s gonna get me through 20 minutes in the toilet at work later on!”
“That was 2 minutes before I puked all over that girls shoes and then we got into that massive cat-fight where she stabbed me in the face with a pint glass and I went to ER for the next 7 hours.”
“Harry, I’m really sorry I have to tell you like this man, but this is the night I had sex with your woman. I mean, check out that outfit… how could I not?”

For me, though, the absolute crème de la crème of bullshit from Facebook comes from the “groups” function. You know where people can join groups they feel are relevant to their interests and views? Things such as:

“David joins the group SAVE THE BABY WHALES!”
“Frank joins the group VOTE FOR OBAMA”
“Dildo joins the group MORE RIGHTS FOR ELECTRONIC GOODS”

All generally good and positive groups that give the impression that these people are goodstanding citizens and are suitable representatives for the better side of the human race. Right? Wrong. Most of the people I know would join groups similar to:

“I would like to have sex with a midget, just to see if i can get beyond the immediate feeling of it being similar in stature to fucking a child”
“I think religion is made bullshit by the discovery of dinosaurs. Sorry, God, but a T-Rex would fuck even *your* shit up.”
“I’m always one of those pricks who conveniently goes to the toilet when collections for Cancer Awareness show up.”

Be honest; you don’t give a shit about the whales any more than I do. You join the group to massage your publically accessible e-ego (electronic ego, for the retarded) and try to come off as a better human being, pretty much like every other asshole on there. Who are you trying to impress exactly? Everyone you fucking know is already on your friends list, so what logical reason do you have for doing that? I hardly think God (if he/she/it exists) is going to judge you on your Facebook group activity, you stupid motherfucker.

Facebook introduces those people you know in real life to the world of internet acronyms. I realise that my blog caters to a certain level of retardation, so I’ll briefly explain what an acronym is. An acronym is a series of words whose abbreviations make up a new word. FBI, NASA, BBW and BDSM are several popular acronyms. You follow? So how often do you really hear or see the people you know in real life “lol”, “rofl”, or “lmao”? And why the fuck do they feel the need to do it at the start and end of every goddamn sentence? I realise you’re new to this whole Internet thing, and you’ve just got yourself a Facebook account, but jesus christ. Lay off the fucking laughs, because nothing (and no, not even the following video) is *that* funny.

Fuck Facebook, and fuck the people who use it as part of their daily ritual.

Bisexuality (to me) is like saying “I’m not fussy, I just like to be fucked or fuck people. I don’t care what gender they are, they’re getting fucked. I’ll fuck anything that moves. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck all day and fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck all night. Wanna fuck?” This seems more to me like someone obsessed with sex or sexual exploration than someone who has made a conscious choice that yes, they are in fact attracted by members of both genders, and yes, they are able to love someone of either gender. Because don’t forget, people, it’s not all just about sex…. is it?

So penis or vagina preference understood, what the fuck is with effeminate homosexuals? I “get” that you dig the penis, but why the need to sound like a woman because of it? Why the need to be so excessively flamboyant with almost everything you do? Why do you obsessively collect “Hello Kitty” items and wear T-shirts that don’t cover your belly-buttons? How is any of the fucking “performance” that you put on related to your sexual preference? It’s not really, is it? You just do it because at the end of the day, once you’ve come “out” (which in itself to me is a pointless charade once you’ve come “out” to yourself) you’re just the same as everyone else, and ultimately it’s the only thing that seperates you from someone who isn’t homosexual. Is it some kind of homosexual advertisement for other homosexuals? Am I missing something here? Because I just don’t understand it. This isn’t the freaking 1970’s, why does this shit continue?

I’m heterosexual, yet I don’t run around pretending to be more masculine than I am. Liking vagina doesn’t mean that I instantly also like and dislike certain actors, actresses, music, TV, clothes or food, none of that shit has any fucking relevance or bearing on my sexual preference at all. I am a human being and I like or dislike things based on how I feel about them. I didn’t wake up the morning after my first sexual experience with a woman and say “Oh wow, now I like cars, football and beer more than EVER!”. Did I miss that memo?

The whole charade is really pathetic to me. Without all this flamboyant horseshit you’re nothing more than some guy called Barry who drinks in his local pub and happens to like cock. Clearly that’s a problem for you and you want to be something more. Perhaps you should stop playing on the gay thing and actually become a more interesting personal in general then?

It’s not just the men who do it either. Lesbians can often become more masculine after declaring their sexual preference - why is that? If you want masculinity, why don’t you go to the source and get a man instead? Oh, it’s a vagina thing? Go compromise: find a guy who likes to be fucked in the ass. Oh, but you like breasts? Go find a fatter man who likes to be fucked in the ass.

Vegetarians, what the fuck is this shit all about? To scrutinise this we really need to look at why people become vegetarians in the first place. Only then can we try to understand the complete fucking mystery that is Panda-esque leaf munching. I’m going to address the 2 key areas I’ve experienced as the basis for vegetarianism.

1

The first, and definitely one of the most common “excuses” for becoming a vegetarian is one of ethics. Many people consider that animals are treated poorly, executed “inhumanely”, and a slew of other completely unfounded bullshit justifications. To those people who think this, let me ask you, where did you originally obtain this perception to begin with? Could it perhaps be… the media? Have you physically dragged your ass to the source and seen for yourself how these animals are treated? My guess is no, you haven’t. Yet again you are the victim of gullibility and are tripping over yourselves to jump on a new fad because the media have “sold” it to you. Fucking suckers. I thank the Lord every day I’m not as fucking stupid as you people.

The entire “humane” argument is typical bullshit from hypocritical motherfuckers who want to come off as “better” human beings. How far do you pricks want to take this, really? You’re fine with the animal being slaughtered (murdered) for your own personal consumption, but only if it’s been treated well? Do I even need to point out the utter hypocrisy in that statement? I’m really sorry that the cows for our burgers can’t live in 5 star accomodation, receive weekly manicures, colonic irrigation and perhaps even massages, but here’s a newslash for you…. their sole purpose for living is to fill our stomachs. They aren’t our friends, and they serve no other purpose than to feed us. Do you honestly think it makes a difference if a cow is standing in an open field or in a tightly packed pen? Do you think an animal that is so fucking worthless that it lacks the evolutionary process to not shit down its own back legs honestly gives a crap about where it spends its short-lived days, as long as it’s fed?

The only reason animals are “packed’ as they are now is simply one of mass consumption. More mouths to feed means we need a faster and more convenient way of obtaining meat. It’s the natural result of evolution, expansion and progression. We kill animal, we eat animal. Whether it’s out in a fucking field with ample room, it makes no difference. Do you honestly think that the prehistoric hunter-gatherers had this kind of “spare time morality” before they speared the shit out of their dinner? You bet your ass they didn’t. The only reason fuckers like you even give a shit is because you’re the type of people who simply have to bitch and whinge about something. We’ve reached a level of human sophistication where we don’t have to get our hands dirty in order to put food on the table, and you want to serve as a constant reminder to the rest of us that we’re killing animals in order to do so. Why don’t you take up a far worthier cause, like erectile dysfunction?

Whatever your take on how the animals are treated, the end result is the fucking same; certain death and subsequent slaughter for food processing. If you pricks had your way, we’d all be out in fields armed with spears and fighting over the wildly roaming cattle. Many of us would probably turn and kill each other instead, simply to lessen the competition. Would you prefer that to happen?

Ironically these are often the same motherfuckers who are completely anti-GM (genetically modified) foods, but as soon as you tell them that genetic modifications can often allow us to produce more food in less developed areas, thus feeding more starving people, they consider it acceptable. Make up your freaking minds people.

2

There are a multitude of different religious concerns for becoming a vegetarian. In fact, there are so many, it further serves to reinforce how different religions contradict one another and fall so far out of line with their original purpose (a “God”) that they can rarely be trusted.

The only thing I’m going to say about it is to really mirror what Chris Rock has already said on the subject. On the day of my judgement, as I stand before God, do you HONESTLY think he/she/it is gonna give a fuck if I’ve eaten meat? I haven’t killed anybody, I haven’t raped anybody, I haven’t stolen from anybody, but I ate meat. Is that very thing going to deny my entry into the eternal kingdom? I doubt it. If eating meat is a sin, then there’s gonna be an awful lot of obese McDonalds loving motherfuckers in Hell.

How would you explain the people who started out as meat-eaters, but turned to vegetarianism later in life? Oh wait, “God is forgiving” right? So he/she/it can’t forgive my ass for doing it at an entire life-time? Fucking hypocrisy yet again. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for people who choose religion as a basis for hope and perhaps even self-improvement, but to change your DIET over it? That’s completely nonsensical. Love thy neighbour, “be excellent to each other”, these are all good morale choices one can make in order to lead a “better” life. “Don’t eat meat” - how the fuck does that help me and my neighbour? That sounds more to me like a fucking diet fad that a chick would read in Cosmopolitan.

I am given the gift of life and am able to experience and participate in an unfathomable number of things. I am given the gift of free will, and am able to decide for myself the things I enjoy and dislike, but yet if I eat meat then I must suffer eternal damnation? Yeah, and the boogeyman will get me too right? It’d be worth it for a Big Mac.

Conclusion

What you eat does not define you as a person (unless you’re a vegetarian, in which case you’re a fucking asshole). Forcing your ideals on others is simply bullshit, and it’s bullshit up to the point where parents are actually causing malnutrition to their children because of it. This is media brainwashing gone too far, and people need to step back and take control of their lives again.

If you enjoy eating meat, then eat meat. If you don’t, don’t do it. Let everyone else make up their own mind, though.

One thing that pisses me off a great deal is people who say that giving up smoking is difficult, or “the hardest thing they’ve ever tried/done’. Clearly these people lead sheltered lives, because I don’t imagine they’ve ever tried climbing a mountain, or inserting a pineapple into their ass. Those are some difficult things, let me tell you. The people who use that excuse basically haven’t even bothered to try. They don’t want to give up, which is what it’s really all about.

The most common excuse I hear from assholes who’ve failed to give up smoking is; “I enjoy it too much” or “It’s the only enjoyment I get”. Shit, please, who the fuck are you trying to kid? That’s blatantly the anthem of the people too weak to give up smoking. I’m sure people addicted to crack enjoy their addiction too, but at least they don’t fucking delude themselves about it.

Before anyone claims that I “don’t know what it’s like”, think again. I used to be a full-time smoker. One week in January I fell ill and couldn’t smoke for around 5 or 6 days. When I’d eventually got back on my feet, I figured that as I hadn’t smoked in 5 or 6 days, what point was there in lighting up again? 7 months later, I still haven’t touched a cigarette, nor do I want to.

It amuses me how there are all these fucking give up smoking aids that do nothing to address the underying cause of the addition; which is that your body is addicted to nicotine. You think that you’ve given up when you’ve covered your body in patches, you use nicotine gum, and you have a fucking nicotine inhaler? You haven’t given up anything. All you’ve done is taken an addiction and made it healthier by removing the tar and other potentially cancer causing materials. You are still, fundamentally, an addict. You really expect praise for that? What a great achievement, congratulations douchebag.

If you people really want to give up smoking, you will. No ifs, no buts, no excuses, you’ll just do it. You don’t need all these bullshit aids that cost more than cigarettes themselves. Stop being such weak loser pussies and just STOP SMOKING.

Proper update coming soon, but that’s amusing enough to tide you over.

1. For the past 6 months or so, I’ve been rather amused with the way people have stumbled across my blog, and the search terms they’ve used to get there. I’ve finally pulled my finger out of my ass long enough to write a Wordpress plugin that takes the last 20 search terms for any individual blog post, and prints them out to the column on the left. Take a look at my post on retards, for example, and you’ll see things like:

“don’t educate retards”
Why not kill autistic children
How to deal with my Autistic child
Why do autistic looks same

Why is this food for thought? Well, a lot of people say I’m an asshole. Correction; I am an asshole. What they don’t realise, though, is the depravity of “normal” Internet users and what they really search for. The plugin does not fake results, and they update in realtime. Observe… the depravity of others!

2. I really want more hate mail. I’m depressed at how little hate mail I actually receive. I have therefore taken it upon myself to add a “Share This” plugin to the bottom of my posts, that will allow you to add them to digg, and all the other horseshit networking sites that you fuckers use. Please, spread the word so I can obtain more hate mail.

I do have more posts coming soon, I promise.

Chavs seem to have a very limited vocabulary. Common statements will include;
“What you fucking looking at?”
“Givvus a fag.”
“I’ll ‘ave you, you cunt.”
“Come on then!”

What are these even meant to mean? “What you fucking looking at?” I’m sorry, but if i’m looking right at you, what the hell do you think I’m looking at? Do you want to know which part of your face it is I’m looking at? Do you have a complex about your nose, or your eyes, or something? Is that why merely glancing at you is considered a declaration of war? Is your self-esteem really that fucking low you’d want to “Kick my head in” for using my gift of sight? That makes sense. Perhaps if you didn’t look like such a cunt in your burberry, I wouldn’t feel the need to look at you whilst mocking you in the back of my mind.

“Givvus a fag” - Is that a question or a threat? If I bought cigarettes with my own money, why the fuck would I want to share them with you? Sure, I’ll give you a cigarette if you dance for me, bitch. What’s the alternative to not giving you one, you beat me up and take my cigarettes and wallet anyway? If you’re gonna do it, you’re gonna do it, what difference does it make? Either beat me up or fuck off, thanks.

“I’ll ‘ave you, you cunt” - This is my favourite. Roughly translated, this means the little chav believes he can beat you up before you can beat him up. The literal real world translation of this, however, is much different. If chav attacks you, his 6 mates will immediately join in. Unless you’re some kind of Bruce Lee motherfucker, you never really stood a chance. Despite the gang-beating you just received, El Chav will still think that he and he alone kicked your ass. Makes sense. On the opposite side of the spectrum I can pretty much guarantee you that if El Chav was on his own, he wouldn’t say a fucking word to you.

“Come on then!” Come on what? You wanna go see a movie, play water polo? What? Is everything in your shitty little life determined by how many fights you can get into? Do you have quotas you have to fill before you can upgrade your burberry stripes or something?

When I was a teenager, I actually had fun and enjoyable things to do. I didn’t stand outside a fucking shop smoking like a chimney and hoping to “finger” the wookie-hole of the new chav bitch who just moved into the area last week. Do kids these days really have such a lack of options, that this one seems the most appealing? I have no problem with some piece of shit having nothing to do, and standing around just waiting for something to happen, but the moment you directly affect my life is when we have big problems. If I have to go to the shop late at night and deal with 8 chav cunts asking me to buy them booze, and getting pissed off when I say no, then I have to step in and say something. The outcome will, one day, inevitably be that I get hospitalised or even killed (w00t!) by a group of these fucks because I refuse to service their chav needs.

So what can we do about them? I have a couple of thoughts on this…

1. Use them for advertising space. These fuckers are just standing around doing nothing as it is, why not put adverts on them? Shops could easily promote their latest special offers by intelligently utilising the ample advertising space outside. Of course, the best advertisement here would be for condoms, or another form of contraception.

2. Develop and supply them with sterilising cigarettes. Next time they ask you for “a spare fag”, you can hapilly and with a large smile on your face, pull out a spare packet of “Fuck-Your-Uterus” or “Fuck-Your-Balls” and allow them to smoke themselves sterile. Over time the chav population will decrease and the world will become a better place.

3. Next time a male chav tries to start some shit with you, pull his trousers down. The shock of having his spiderman underwear exposed to his chav friends will undoubtedly cause him to run home crying like a bitch. The other chavs will be completely distracted (and amused) by this and will forget what they were going to do to you in the first place.

4. Buy several pineapples and spear them onto the end of large sticks. Apply a burberry cap and some fake jewellery created from string and tinfoil, add some cranberry juice or other red and wet material, and leave the sticks outside their usual “hanging around” place. They will be so concerned with this act of insanity they will fuck off and never return.

Technorati Tags: chavs, burberry, townies, homos, eat shit and die

It does, however, have a small fault which needs resolving. If any CSS/xHTML wizards are out there and reading this, and fancy doing a quick modification for me (free of charge, because you love me) then please let me know.

In 2002 (approximately), 30 seconds to Mars released their debut self-titled album. It wasn’t emo, but rather a pretty decent mix of progressive rock and metal. I used to be a big fan. To those who are aware of the band (and that’s pretty much everyone now), 30 Seconds to Mars is Jared Leto’s brainchild. Yes, the same Jared Leto who is a B-list Hollywood actor. And yes, the “pretty” one from “My So Called Life” with that cunt Claire Danes, and the blonde haired one who gets the living shit beaten out of him in “Fight Club”. Back when they launched the band, there was a great deal of mystery surrounding them. On the website biography section it listed pictures of redneck dudes instead of the actual band members, because they claimed that they didn’t want to use Jareds fame to further the bands career. 5-6 years on, we can see the utter hypocrisy behind that statement.

The debut CD didn’t sell well. Nobody knew who the fuck they were, and it wasn’t really marketed or promoted by their label. Despite obtaining quite a cult following on the Internet, they remained relatively off the scope. A couple of TV appearances here and there, but that was about the height of their success. Cue 3 or 4 years later, with a replaced band member and a brand new image, 30 Seconds to Mars became EMO. Clearly they saw how music was changing, and that emo was a “big” thing, so they decided to cash in on the popularity of this trend.

So what went wrong, and why do I hate them?

1. They started as a band who actually said they didn’t want to use Jared’s popularity (particularly with women) to boost their career. Now, Jared is all you fucking see. Yes, I understand that he’s the frontman of the band and he will primarily be in the limelight, but does that REALLY justify the need for merchandise to contain nothing but a PICTURE OF HIM and the 30 Seconds to Mars logo? How is that band merchandise? That kind of bullshit belongs in the Jared Leto fanclub.

2. Your penchant for the dramatics is both old and boring. Yes, you had a huge hit with “The Kill”. Must you really bring out ballet dancers, and people covered in blood when you play the song live? Is that shit really necessary? No, it isn’t. It just makes you look even more like an aging fucking emo asshole who’s trying to milk the song and situation for every penny he can.

We get it, it’s called “The Kill”. It’s an emo-number-1-hit simply because of the name and the complete misinterpretation that it’s about suicide.

3. Can you please explain why your MUSIC VIDEOS are usually 2 and a half times longer than the actual song itself? Did somebody forget to tell you what the concept of a fucking music video is when you were taking amateur directing lessons? People want to listen to the music and see a video, not a goddamn mini Chinese movie. Big wow, you were the first band to film their music video completely in the Peoples Republic of China. Ever think there was a fucking reason for that, you arrogant cunt?

If you’re going to try and use your popularity to tackle “World Issues” then at least tackle something that isn’t proven to be complete bullshit. Maybe something like world hunger? HIV/AIDS? The rise of shitty emo bands?

In your latest video you are attempting to inform people about global warming and “reach out” to viewers, to try and prevent it. If you bothered to pull your fucking head out of your ass for at least 24 hours you’d see that this isn’t something you need to worry about. Global warming is a NATURAL OCCURENCE, historically. Why try and stop nature from taking its course, douchebag? Do you think you’re God or something? You certainly aren’t Bono, if that’s what you’re thinking.

I have no problem with you giving a shit about the environment, but do NOT abuse your status as a musician/actor and try to force your bullshit ideas and concepts on viewers. If you REALLY want to educate people, then invite them to do their OWN research and make up their OWN goddamn mind on the matter. Throwing facts and figures at them is completely unjustified.

4. You’re almost 40 years old, when are you going to stop wearing eyeliner and hooking up with younger celebrities? Either admit the fact you’re a latent bisexual/homosexual (to be debated) or move on. It’s becoming creepy now.

5. When you’re being interviewed, and the interviewer asks the band a question, why don’t you let some of the OTHER members answer them instead of always jumping in and cutting them off? You do realise that THEY contribute to the band too, right?

Your arrogance is astounding, and I’m surprised your fucking head hasn’t exploded yet. But I guess with all that hair-dye and shit you wear it creates enough pressure on your skull to keep everything in.

If you want to be a musician, be a musician. Play your fucking songs, play the crowd a little and then get the fuck off the stage. If you want to be an actor, wear makeup, dresses, wigs, and play out on dramatics.. then fuck off back to Hollywood. Your shit isn’t welcome here.

EDIT/UPDATE: I’ve disabled the posting of comments on this post, because most 30 Seconds to Mars fans are the biggest fucking retards on the face of the planet. They put Jared in a higher light than Jesus Christ himself, and will defend him and the band until the end of time, even if you put forward an infallible argument. Their only defense to the bashings of their-God-Jared is “you’re jealous”. It doesn’t matter what you say, they will respond with “you’re jealous”. Yes, that’s right emo-boy, that makes real fuckin’ sense. If you dislike something you must be immediately jealous of it.

Newsflash: I fucking hate vegetables. Does that mean I’m jealous of them? Eat an AIDS infested cock and die, dickheads.

Technorati Tags: 30 Seconds to Mars, Jared Leto, emo, asshole

There’s ugly, and there’s pig dog ugly. Lindsay Lohan is the latter. What the fuck do men see in this freckled little puke-stain?

Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m just seriously averse to anything ginger. I think that’s it. It’s not the hair colour, it’s the fucking gazillions of freckles ALL OVER THE BODY. They can’t just be on the face, they have to be EVERYWHERE. All down the arms, the chest, the back, the face, the ass, it’s like she’s being consumed by a small freckle nation who have realised she has no talent and are trying to kill her from the inside out. Good work, my freckle midget army! On a completely unrelated note, did you know that being Ginger is actually down to a deformity of your DNA? That’s right, do some reading and you’ll see that it’s caused by a DNA mutation. You now have sufficient proof that Lindsay Lohan is a fucking mutant cunt.

Let’s take the freckles away, what would you be left with? You’d still be left with a fucking skank who has zero sex appeal. She literally looks like some chick you would hook up with at a party, because you’d drunk a bottle of scotch and you want to fall asleep with your dick in something. You then wake the following morning and have to carefully sneak out before being seen in case she asks for your number. There’s no “choice” here, merely a lack of options in an alcohol fueled sex romp. I’d rather go home and jerk off.

This broad has ZERO talent. She can’t even act worth a damn. You only need to look at her IMDB page to see the list of amazingly intellectual films she’s been involved with. The only movie I liked out of that list was “Chapter 27″, and she was the worst actor/actress in the entire thing. Thank God she got less than 5 minutes screentime. Cunt.

Just because you hang around with Paris Hilton does NOT make you cool. It doesn’t make people want you. It just makes you another in the long line of skank whores that Paris has taken under her wing to destroy your reputation and image. Not that you had any of those to begin with. If you want cheap or free coke, hang around with Paris. If you have no career and want to ensure that it remains that way, hang around with Paris.

There really isn’t anything else to say except that I hate you, Lindsay Lohan, please die.