I hate…. marketing calls and Indian Telephone Support
So on Sunday, around about lunchtime, I decide to venture into the kitchen to make myself something to eat. This in itself is a rare occurence, as my diet mainly consists of microwave meals or anything I can unwrap and immediately consume. The phone starts to ring. Usually during the week I will ignore the phone. I don’t have caller ID so I really don’t want to run the risk of speaking to some company I owe money to because I conveniently “forget” to pay a bill. I figure if it’s important they’ll call my mobile and I can see who it is, or they’ll leave a message. Now, it being a Sunday I figured shit… only a friend or a family member would be calling, so I decide to answer.
Immediately I have some Indian guy asking me if I’m in: “Excuse me, is Mr Pirez there?”. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Now I’m pissed off. The rest of the conversation (to the best of my recollection) goes like this:
Me: “Who wants to know?”
Indian: “I am calling from GED Finance.”
Me: “What day is it today?”
Indian: “I believe it is Sunday, Sir.”
Me: “That’s right. It’s a Sunday. Why are you calling?”
Indian: “I am calling from GED Finance. Is Mr…..”
Me (Interrupting): “I know who you are. Why are you calling on a Sunday, the most holy of days?”
Indian: “I am calling to speak to Mr…..”
Me: “Yes, I know already. Nobody calls on Sundays. Why are you calling on a Sunday?”
Indian: “We are working today.”
Me: “Well I hate to tell you this pal, but your job sucks. We don’t work on Sundays, we only pay Indians to work on Sundays. Did you know it’s illegal to call on Sundays, as today is considered a religious day and God himself did tell his disciples that ‘Thou shall not spam on Sunday.’?”
Indian: “When will Mr Pirez be available?”
Me: “Any day other than Sunday.”
And then I hung up.
What the fuck is it with these telemarketers? At least 10 times during the weak I am subjected to an English speaking person trying to sell me insurance, a loan, a mortgage, or all manner of other shit I could really do without. Now we have to put up with that shit on Sundays, too? And by an Indian no less.
I register my numbers with the TPS (Telephone Preference Service) which is SUPPOSED to exclude me from all these fucking calls. Some fucking use that was, huh? When these lowlife pieces of shit call me up and I ask them where they obtained my number, obviously they can’t tell me. No doubt it was the same company who promised NOT to share my details to other companies if I ticked the box, which I did.
Who actually takes a job as a telemarketer? It’s like taking a job to be one of the most hated people in the country. I’m sure it’s a great talking point at parties.
Person 1: “So uhh… what do you do for a living?”
Person 2: “I’m a tele-marketer.”
Person 1: “Oh….. I see. So you’re one of these assholes who calls people when they’re in the middle of eating their dinner, and asks them if they want a loan?”
Person 2: “……….. yes, that’s right.”
Person 1: “You motherfucker.”
etc.
OK, I’m sure it’s better than claiming unemployment benefits, but I bet it doesn’t do your self esteem any favours. Having people abuse you on a daily basis and hanging up on you must really screw your libido (pun intended).
Whilst we’re on the subject of telephone calls, Indian Technical Support is really starting to piss me off. I used to work tech support for a UK ISP. I’ve done the whole 1st Line Support thing. It was without a doubt the most frustrating and crappy job I’ve ever had. I liked the people I worked with, and that was the only relief. In addition to having to deal with the most retarded people on the planet, and trying (failing) to help them configure shit like Outlook Express, they expect you to respond to technical questions in a manner in which they can understand. They may have picked up some Internet Jargon and think they’re some kind of genius by dropping it into a conversation. “Maybe it’s my DNS settings?” and when you laugh and ensure them it’s not, they get all offended that you’re mocking their deluded sense of intelligence. Fortunately, I was NOT one of the people who “lost their job to an Indian”, but I know people who have.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for people from other nationalities working for a living. After all, like most people they no doubt have families to support. What really pisses me off though is when they breach the International borders and cause people WITHIN their own country to actually lose out. I suppose it’s not their fault, and it’s our fault for seeking to outsource work anywhere in the world for as cheap as possible. After all, how can we compete with a nation of people who have absolutely no concept of weekends, bank holidays or christmas day?
What I really want to know is who decided that these people are ideal to diagnose our troublesome technical problems, and discuss our financial situations? These fuckers haven’t even SEEN our currency, yet they’re in positions of authority to sell us products such as insurance? Please. Ever spoken to an Indian for technical support? Sure, they’re nice and polite, but “Please. Sorry, Sir.” will only get you so far, you abu dabi motherfucker. MY PC IS BROKEN, FIX IT GOD DAMN YOU. YES IT’S FUCKING PLUGGED IN. YES IT’S FUCKING TURNED ON. YES THE FUCKING LIGHT IS ON. How can one nationality be so polite and patronising at the same time?
Then they go do something hilarious like go online and look at the weather in your country, and ask “Very fine weather we are having today, no?” as if they’re actually experiencing it themselves. Then you ask them their name and they’re like “John”. OH PLEASE. Your name is Raj, Muhammed, Abdul like most of them. Don’t try and tell me you’re an Indian in my country. I’m not paying 1.50 a minute to listen to you lie to me, motherfucker.
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- Posted by Vince at 01:47 pm
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Basically: LOOLLL!!!
Haha, Vince.
That was classic. ^.^
Wow, this blog is awesome.
After reading about your rant on Andy’s blog I was sure to check you out.
ah that post was legend, though i do have a tele-marketing office really close to me, above McDonalds, about 90% of the pricks that work there are indians, others are just college students who put on indian accents to fit in.
I LOVE YOU!!!
Indians rule….its americans who have zero concept of anything. Get a life you stupid bozo.
Indians rule? Americans have zero concept of anything?
For the readers of mine who do not have administrator access, and are unable to see the IP address of this “bozo” then you’d also be unable to see the irony in this post, because the poster is in fact…. survey says…. American! Yes, that’s right. This dipshit is in fact a hypocritical dumbass, who assumedly outsources all his work to India because he is :
1. Incapable of doing it himself. He just likes to bullshit posturise as someone important, but is actually semi-retarded.
2. Jewish. Maximum profits can be made outsourcing.
What say you, Jew?
Jews? Very interesting, considering most of them would count Saturday as a saint day and not Sunday. Being incredibly intolerant, are you? And dumbness has no nationality!
Anyway, telemarketing is awful, and I consider it swindling.
You need to research the use and concept of the word “satire”, Sir.
u r a fuckin homo and you u dont worth as much as a jewish’s nail…
read a littel more about jewish and maybe u will realize how successful jewish people r!!!!soo wait…
ohh yeah fuck u!!!!
and about the other moron…this is ur claim …???!that jewish concider saturday as saint???!!!hahah…fuck u…fuck vince….and fuuuuuck ur jesuse…
call him maybe e will save u from licking you dad’s balls
If somebody could please translate this bullshit for me, I’d be happy to add a witty response.
vincepirez@googlemail.com
ohh….u can do better than that….
*sigh*
Typical response from someone who is beaten.
I just hate marketing, marketeers and everything that out greed ridden society stands for. My best friend happens to be a marketter, for a large tobacco company, yet she don’t smoke either - Hmmmm, so money has nothing to do with then does it ?
why do we need marketeers, cant companies be actually truthful about their products if they are so good. the public are not thick, some of us are quite intelligent as it happens.
The same is true for recruitment companies, who are jhust “lording it” on the back of huge I.T companies who basically cannot be bothered to get off their own arses and do their own recruiting. How they think a third party will know what they are looking for is frankly beyond me.
Same is true for Estate Agents - Never needed to use one, never had a problem selling a house either.
All these types of phoney company should be either banned or made illegal as soon as possible.
I have 20 years I.T experience and am 41 years of age, yet I am expected to talk to a recruitment dolly-bird, with a skirt so short, it would pass as a belt !! , who knows nothing about what I can and cannot do. If i listed every single bit of software i had been exposed too in 20 years it would fill a small novel !!!
Ah but then my C.V would be toooooooooo long and half of them can’t read anyway. so thats no good either.
I just hate marketing and everything this parsitic industry stands for. Life was sinpler and better years ago.
Hands up who agrees !!!
well i guess this article is realy… pathatic…
sorry guys but im afrid you guys dont know about the BPO and Tele marketing industry and you guys might not even know that a telemarketer wakes up all night long in his cdountry when his country people sleep,and he eats drinks when all the country enjoy night sleep,have you ever tought how it feels…
feel as if you have to earn the way these telemarket earn
i agreed that these marketing calls are realy frustrating but only collage going students work for these call center just to earn some good money..so they could support thier families and survive and as a matter of the fact now these call centers are going to move to philipines and easter eurpean countres where Aus,UK and US Govt could save money….
im afriad for you guys world is as little as you’re country but there’s a world byeond than the place where you live..
i admit that is frustrating but that’s the way it is..
and may be that might not be changed unless poors wont be removed from earth..
If you guys believe in god and have some faith in him..
so at least try to love human and learn the language of love coz that’s the global language..
and this meat for humanty..
Ladies and Gentlemen, here we have our very own Indian telemarketer (according to the e-mail and IP address). Let the pie-throwing commence!
“jesse”, you completely wasted your time writing your comment, because you only prove my point. Your inability to grasp the basic spelling and grammar of the English language only illustrates how little you get paid. You fucking come here and preach like you know about the “BPO” and the telemarketing industry? Fuck off. You’re just a peon who gets paid around a dollar a day - you know nothing of the industry unless it’s a guy walking goats past your little Indian office.
Let’s face it, your real name isn’t even “jesse” is it, Jaffar? Cut the bullshit, asshole. You must be really secure in your job if you actually take the time to search Google for “indian telemarketers suck”. Are you some kinda fucking Indian telemarketer superhero, out for justice and to defend all Indian telemarketers on the planet?
I enjoyed the blog, and most of the comments, but although you do have some valid points Vince, don’t you think you are pushing it a bit too far.
I have worked as a telephone interviewer, basically a telemarketer not selling anything but conducting surveys. It was a job based in the UK and yet I had people accusing me of not being able to speak English, or being in Mumbai, and a myriad of other such ridiculous related claims.
It is just a job, and there are decent people on either side of the line at times. Not very often, but sometimes.
Perhaps I am barking up the wrong tree here, and that I assume from the language you choose to use in your text, however I do hope you appreciate the point I am trying to make.
Telemarketing is not the best job out there (I walked out after 2 -3 months of part time work ) and gets really hectic, but if you could just chill, calm down, things would work out much better.
After all it is a phone, and you are at liberty to hang up any time you so wish. Tech support is another matter altogether though and trust me when i say that i have had a fair share of interaction of with some of these morons. What can you do?
But from experience I know that the coin always has two sides.
*Yawn* Oh I’m sorry, ‘Tushar’. I fell asleep reading your comment. Was I meant to pay attention? Maybe next time.
What the fuck kinda name is ‘Tushar’ anyway? Do you ride Elephants or charm snakes?
WOW, and I mean WOW!!!
Vince, gotta hand it to ya,
You take the cake for being ‘THE BIGGEST ASSHOLE’. I agree with you on the point that Telemarketing SUCKS! but hey, this is going wayyyy beyond that. You’re acting like a fucktard RACIST, I’ll give you a suggestion instead of blaming Indians why the fuck can’t you just put down the bloody phone,huh. Don’t you have the brains Vince, huh???? Yeah I guess you don’t otherwise why would people write a bloody Hate Blog about Indians?
“What the fuck kinda name is ‘Tushar’ anyway? Do you ride Elephants or charm snakes?”
What the fuck of an name is Vince anyway? Do you ‘VINCE’ when you shit huh? Or did yer Mommy and Daddy ‘VINCE’ when they saw your UGLY face. LOL.
Y’know, it’s really hard to take offence from someone who uses the term “LOL’ to end a blog comment. If your intent was to piss me off or try and cause any emotional anguish towards me, you fucking failed, miserably. Much like the condom failed the night of your incest riddled conception.
Maybe it’s the thought that you won’t be able to respond to this comment because every time you visit my blog in the future, you’re going to be redirected to Lemonparty and see a picture of 3 old guys sucking each other off. Maybe it’s the thought that clearly anyone who ends a blog comment with “LOL” is a pre-pubescant cunt who has no hope with anything in life other than sweeping, cleaning toilets and scraping the chewing gum from underneath cafe tables. You’d probably “LOL” whilst doing that too.
I dunno, maybe it’s the fact that you think “Vince” is a term to describe some kind of action or grimmace, but clearly you’re too fucking retarded to understand that you’re actually thinking of “wince” and not my name. I bet Mommy and Daddy are real proud to have raised such a fucking genius son.
Enjoy the pensioner cock, kid.