I hate…. MySpace
by Vince on Feb.27, 2007, under Random
Several years ago, I remember running across the MySpace website and telling my friends on IRC at the time that “this website is a piece of garbage”. Poorly designed, poorly coded, it looked like a website that some average joe bum had knocked up in the privacy of their typically Americanised bedroom amongst hundreds of empty KFC buckets and Burger King boxes. I remember telling them at the time; “This won’t get anywhere”. Alas, I was wrong.
Now, before any of you fucks decide that I’m only criticising MySpace because I’m somehow “jealous” or some equally moronic and non-applicable reason, well you’re wrong. The success of MySpace has nothing to do with me, and in no way affects my life, so why the fuck would you even think that? Get yourselves a spoon so you can eat my ass.
MySpace allows it’s users to customise their profile in the gayest ways imaginable. They can put custom backgrounds on there, change colours, add shitty gay effects and turn their profiles into a complete piece of shit – can you see what I mean? You need fucking sunglasses to read that profile. It doesn’t fit in my browser, and there are far too many brightly coloured moving things to cause anyone with the slighest ounce of epilepsy to bite their tongues off in a fit. It’s like there’s some unannounced competition to see who can make the ugliest and shittiest profile on the web. Found any seriously fucking horrible profile layouts? Send them my way.
The other main reason I mate MySpace (and most other social networking sites, for that reason) is the amount of fakes present. Take the image on your left, for example. Fat and ugly bitches everywhere have figured out how to take “pleasing” pictures using the digital cameras their parents bought them for Christmas. By taking pictures at different angles, with different lighting or in different clothes they’ve figured out how to trick the average male into believing that they’re actually worthy to be fucked. They should put bitches like this in the same boat as paedophiles. They should be monitored when using the Internet so they can’t trick anyone else, ever again, or at least until they’ve lost the weight or had significant facial reconstructive surgery. Fucking whores.
Friends Requests – what the fuck are all these about? You get hundreds of random strangers a day/week asking if they can add you to their friends list. Why? They don’t know you, they don’t give a shit about you. Is there some kind of contest to see who can generate the most number of FAKE friends? Way to improve your self-esteem; “I have 400,000 thousand FAKE friends on MySpace”. In reality you probably have like 1 friend, and that’s your mom. I bet she even sends you valentines day cards every year so you feel that ever little bit better about yourself, enough so that you don’t try and commit suicide. You worthless bastards.
Fuck MySpace. I hate MySpace.
Technorati Tags: Myspace, Social Networking Sites, Social Networking, Whores, Fat, Ugly, People, Bitches
33 Comments for this entry
3 Trackbacks / Pingbacks for this entry
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links for 2007-03-03 at Baron VC
March 3rd, 2007 on 2:18 pm[...] I hate…. MySpace Hilarious rant on MySpace that sadly rings true. The whole blog’s a riot. I’ll be enjoying this one a lot. (tags: myspace social_network) Powered by Gregarious (21) [...]
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The War between MySpace and Facebook at MrBaconpants.com
December 19th, 2007 on 11:21 am[...] There seems to be this war between Facebook users and MySpace users. It’s not as violent as the Mac vs. PC war but people seem to get just as fired up about it. Here is a pro Facebook post from Tech Crunch that says the MySpace vs. Facebook decision is an IQ test. I tried to find a pro MySpace blog post but most of them were to poorly written to post. Most of them just said, “MySpace Rocks! Facebook is Lame”. I found this funny; maybe Tech Crunches post is true. Here is another pro Facebook rant called, I Hate MySpace. [...]
February 28th, 2007 on 8:58 am
I’m ashamed to say I’ve just joined MySpace and all your points are true. I have decided to keep my way of using MySpace very strict. I only have friends who are actually friends and my layout doesn’t suck…well, that much anyway.
http://myspace.com/benfairless
March 2nd, 2007 on 6:12 am
Wow, I’m speechless. You bring a tear to my eye, I couldn’t have put it better myself.
March 9th, 2007 on 4:29 pm
I am a member of Myspace and I feel that EVERYTHING you said was entirely true, especially about the friends requests.
I am in the fat chick category though but I have never taken an ugly picture like the one of the whale in the bra and panties above
March 18th, 2007 on 1:51 pm
i feel sorry for you. you have a very bleak and distorted view of life. if you stopped trying to analyse myspace as some sort of peodophilic website and realised it’s just a place for friends, then maybe you would have more yourself. why not spend less time bitching about myspace and maybe try to enjoy it. I also think that it’s wrong how you’ve taken a stab at fat people, just because they’ve found a way to take pictures of themselves that look nice, do you think they should try and look ugly all the time? your mindless ranting makes me think your a weak and insecure individual, and you should try and get help.
thankyou
rich-oxford phycology student x
March 18th, 2007 on 3:33 pm
Le sigh.
Y’know, I’d probably warrant that with a seemingly witty and extremely abusive response, but unfortunately “rich” seems to be doing a good job on his own of illustrating what a fucking dildo he is.
Clearly his Oxford “phycology” education is going to waste, because he’s not even able to spell the name of the subject he’s studying. Tell me, “rich”, how did you get into Oxford? You give head to the right people? Also, viewers, note his inability to be able to differentiate between “your” and “you’re” – which is clearly the mark of someone who struggled at school and spent more time eating glue than learning. Ironically, the eating glue part would then be mainly responsible for their blowjob addiction later in life. It must be something to do with the desire for lots of gooey stuff in their mouth.
I said I wouldn’t, but now I feel compelled….Well, “rich”, in my amateur psychology degree driven opinion, allow me to retort. It would appear, from your response, that you have some kind of sexual fetish for overweight, ugly women on MySpace. There is no other justification for your defensive rant, other than you are in fact a WHALE RIDER, cruising MySpace for fat hoes. Does your fake Oxford education make them wet? Do the American ones actually believe that you’re the 17th Earl of London?
The ‘x’ at the end of your message is concerning, however, because it either means you are in fact female or a homosexual male. How did I do? I bought my psychology degree from India for the price of a goat. It’s probably worth more than yours, huh.
Note to my other readers: “rich” thought he was clever. He came to my blog to bullshit about himself. But he got found out. Pwnt.
March 21st, 2007 on 2:21 pm
waaaay “rich” got owned
July 22nd, 2007 on 11:43 am
i think rich meant
sucking off an oxford phycology student x
August 10th, 2007 on 9:18 pm
i agree…fuck myspace.!!
December 7th, 2007 on 3:39 am
Myspace sucks a$$ Anyone on it I feel for you; a part of the mindless flock that have to create and promote themselves in order to feel like they are a part of a social network: A great place to meet little kids, wanna-bes, sick pervs, and cheaters. Get a life and stop trying to create one in an artificial realm of retards!
December 24th, 2007 on 9:21 am
The comment from student was totally right. What I hate the most is intolerance. Everyone can criticize someone’s unethical and selfish actions, but criticizing their looks, habits and limitations is simply unacceptable.
December 24th, 2007 on 11:28 am
Hahahahahaha Monitored like paedophiles. Classic, bro.
December 24th, 2007 on 1:31 pm
Hate: So you fuck fat people? You disgust me.
February 2nd, 2008 on 4:35 am
Hahahaha… These are the five reasons why I hate myspace. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGJZW_wFOCk
February 25th, 2008 on 4:27 pm
Wow I am so glad someone else agrees that myspace is really fake, I was really disappointed and suprised at how shallow and egotistical some people are and how they are obsessed with commenting their stupid pitures. Thanks for speaking up someone had to say it.
February 25th, 2008 on 4:31 pm
You have made my day, I thought I was the only one who despised Myspace
Screw Myspace!!
February 27th, 2008 on 9:27 am
you’re a very sad cunt love, get a hobby
if you don’t like myspace, don’t go on it! why do you care so much? get a fucking life.
February 27th, 2008 on 10:41 am
“Love”? Fuck off you piece of shit.
The mere fact you defend MySpace just illustrates that you’re one of those pathetic pedophiles in training that uses MySpace to crawl the Internet for small children to manipulate. Eat a cock, dipshit.
February 27th, 2008 on 1:30 pm
i’m a girl, so i think that allows me to call you “love” (albeit in a condesending manner) and no i am not a paedophile. i’m 18 for fucks sake. you are a very sad individual who probably wasn’t held much as a child.
also, i wasn’t defending myspace, i was just commenting on how you’re a sad twat who obviously has nothing better to do than slag other people off.
February 27th, 2008 on 1:30 pm
*condescending
February 27th, 2008 on 2:28 pm
No, being a girl doesn’t give you a God given right to call me “love”, unless you’re one of those fucking ugly fat Northern cunts who use the word subsconsciously in every sentence. Even then, it’s still not alright, and just makes you sound fat, which you more than likely are.
If I’m such a sad individual, then why do you feel the incandescent desire to return to my blog and post further comments to make yourself look like even more of a cunt? (“Cunt” is my Word of the Week, by the way). Your hypocritical “high and mighty” nature doesn’t work when you attempt to bait me, idiot.
I love how you dipshits retort to pulling out your Psychology Cliché 101 books and trying to psychoanalyse people online. Do you think that makes you sound clever, and adds to your credibility? It doesn’t at all. It makes you sound incredibly desperate – trying to somehow “hurt” me with comments about what a supposedly dysfunctional childhood I may have had. You’re pissing up the wrong tree, fatty.
If you’d spent more than 5 minutes reading my blog, you’d clearly see I don’t give a fuck about what you say or what you think, and the only people who will get offended here are the readers and the idiots who leave me comments in an attempt to abuse me. Clearly the satirical purpose of this blog is beyond your intellect and is wasted on you.
Please, do me the courtesy of either killing yourself or sterilising your womb with a bathful of sulphuric acid and pissed off porcupines. You don’t deserve to breed.
March 1st, 2008 on 1:48 pm
OMG!!…Vince Hath PWNS all, reading your last comment says it all
May 6th, 2008 on 9:05 pm
I think I just found heaven a website totally dedicated to hating myspace. I FUCKING HATE MYSPACE WITH AN EVIL PASSION!!!!!!!My boyfriend has a myspace account and I swear I want to vomit everytime I come across it. All it is, is a bunch of nasty ass bitches tryin to suck some cyber dick. People want attention and they have the most ridiculous way of getting it, like, “Hi my name is ashley, I sent you a pic of me naked, be my friend.” FUCK MYSPACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
May 15th, 2008 on 4:26 pm
myspace is just a way of having fun i like the diffrent backgrounds
your mad because some on tricked you so your going to take it out on myspace k well sorry to hear about your bad luck but other peopole have fun doing it
May 15th, 2008 on 6:01 pm
Oh dear Lord. You like having different backgrounds? Yeah, no shit. Tell that to the last epileptic you killed.
And for the record, nobody “tricked” me on MySpace. I don’t use the Internet to meet members of the opposite sex, so that’s not an issue for me at all honey. I’m just intelligent enough to be able to recognise when pictures are taken conveniently in such a fashion in order to hide the “flaws” of the photographed subject. I’ve also been blessed with the ability to look at the face of a person and instantly recognise when they are a lady boy.
Some people are just gifted I guess.
October 27th, 2008 on 11:08 pm
Brilliant! Just Brilliant! Im SO excited to hear from someone who TRULY does view myspace the way I do! I must mention that you failed to state one of the most annoying things….Peoples pics/captions….like when they post pics with captions saying “Dont I look so ugly in this pic?” Bitch! if you thought you were seriously ugly in that picture you WOULD NOT POST IT ON MYSPACE!!!! Stop fishing for compliments to make yourself feel better!!! Or the too famous mirrored myspace pictures!!! OMGOSH!!! Super lame!!!! Also how people claim to only use for “networking” bullshit!!! Since when does networking require you to have your entire business with pictures and albums of your everyday!?!? I work in marketing and believe me their is many other useful ways to network. Last but not least the dumb sluts/”models” who put almost naked pics of themselves for just compliments!!! Seriously!!! If you are a so called model then why not have a freakn website where people are required to pay to see your dirty ass pics since you are a model!?!?!? Im sorry if you did mention all that and I just somehow missed it…
But GREAT GREAT BLOG!!! Thanks!
December 1st, 2008 on 12:12 pm
Greatest blog I’ve ever read.
December 5th, 2008 on 7:33 pm
Congratulations for posting your opinion on how much you hate myspace it probably hates you too sweetie.
December 5th, 2008 on 9:44 pm
@BREANNA DRANE: Are you fucking serious? Websites aren’t sentient you fucking moron. Congratulations for posting your award winning kindergarten worthy retort.
March 2nd, 2009 on 5:49 pm
I am two seconds away from deleting myspace.
First of all.. I thought myspace had more to offer then spicing up a page or displaying friends. I use my to write blogs and to read other blogs etc.
Today i spent 2 hours writing about American nutrition and poor vs. rich options at being healthier/ etc.
Two hours wasted as.. i spent 10 mins trying to work the font from either too small or too fucking BIG!
when i went to post it, it said my page had expired and everything was LOST. Im so pissed off.. they can spend money fixing up new profile themes and playlist bullshit- yet they cant update their fucking blog system? Im pissed- hey bright guys! lets think of a way to autosave peoples work- you know, like emails! assholes.
im furious- i should have known. My space is a pos!
Im done with it- its shit for writing blogs.
March 6th, 2009 on 8:34 pm
i totally agree. myspace also helps to ruin good relationships.i mean i have seen 11 year marriages broke up because of myspace. its all fucking shit to me, facebook, myspace.
March 7th, 2009 on 7:58 pm
Excellent blog – I couldn’t agree more about MySpace and Facebook. I actually think they are methods of culling people from our society. One day the internet will no longer work and millions of people will cease to be able to communicate without their “social networking sites”. At least they are all too busy on MySpace and Facebook to reproduce.
July 8th, 2009 on 6:11 pm
The illiteracy rate of the dysfunctional men who wrote me for the two weeks I was on MySpace was appalling. They never actually READ the profile, ergo they shoot off a message willy-nilly. And needless to say, losers all. In a moment of loneliness and weakness I joined only to come to my senses quickly when I saw the melange of creeps that were attracted to me. No cleavage shots either; I can only imagine what would have come my way if I had posted that sort of thing. Your chances of winning LOTTO are far greater than actually connecting with someone compatible in your local area. All in all, MySpace is an overrated, bloated, over-promoted blab blog of pig lard.
October 8th, 2009 on 3:03 am
I hate MySpace.
Thank you for this entertaining rant.