My Hate Blog

I own a lot of movies.  Currently somewhere in the region of 500 DVD’s.  I watch a lot of movies.  I enjoy movies.

Because of my movie experience, I do not somehow feel that my opinion of movies in any way shape or form invalidates someone elses. The beauty of entertainment is that there are many forms, and different people are entertained by different methods.  Some people like comedians, some people don’t.  It’s the way of the world.

What really pisses me off, however, is movie nazi’s.  Particularly those on IMDB’s forums.

What is a movie nazi?

A movie nazi is some moronic piece of shit on the Internet who claims that because you do not like a movie, that you simply “don’t get it”.  They then say that you’re too stupid to understand it, and that they’re clearly better than you and their opinion is more valid because they “get it”.
How can you be wrong, or any less intelligent for stating a fucking opinion? Would you call someone dumb for not liking brussel sprouts?  They just don’t “get” them, right?  Fuck no.  Idiot.

I’ve seen Donnie Darko 3 times.  It sucks.  I don’t get it?  How’s about this…
Donnie Darko is about time travel.  I could go into greater depth and tell you that there are 5 materials or factors deemed “necessary” for time travel according to the book the stupid old woman wrote.  The plane coming through the ceiling?  That was one of the factors necessary for time travel to occur.  I don’t get it?  Fuck you, I know more about it than most of you morons.

Just because a movie doesn’t have a typical story, does NOT make it good.  It doesn’t make it revolutionary, amazing, just highly fucking pretentious.  Momento, for example.  Wow… it goes backwards instead of forwards….. amazing.  NOT.  What the fuck was so great about it?  I don’t get it?  What’s to get?  Some knob with amnesia traces his steps to find out who killed his wife?   I could’ve told you that instantly as soon as he appeared on the screen.  The whole back-to-front direction pretty much screws any and all replay value of the movie though, don’t you think?

So yeah, you might think it was an amazing movie.  You might have even shelled out for the DVD.  Now you’re stuck with a fucking movie you’ll never watch again, because it’s no fun knowing who killed her is it?  You stupid consumer whores.

The worst of these fucking movie nazi’s are people who follow David Lynch.  Eraser Head – what the fuck is all that about? Before any of these nazi’s jump on me and say that I don’t understand the movie, I do.  At least I understand the synposis and the general theme of the movie.  It sucks major balls.  I actually fell asleep numerous times in the middle of watching it.  You think that’s a fucking work of art?  You think it’s amazing?  Go suck Lynch’s dick.

Mulholland Drive.  Same guy, Mr Lynch.  What a boring, boring, boring movie.  What do people stick up for this moron?  He clearly popped one too many LSD tabs and his brain is turning to mush.  Somehow, and I’d love to know how, people find hidden non-existant meanings in his movies and call them masterpieces.  They think that because it’s so fucking weird and bizarre, that they are amazingly intelligent beings for working out what’s “really” going on.  Ladies and Gents, that’s the whole point.  You have just been anally raped by a writer and director. He has forced you to watch 90+ minutes of complete bullshit.  A story with no plot, weird random encounters and sounds, and you think you’ve just discovered the meaning of life.  It’s so weird that you *have* to say it’s good because otherwise you feel that you’re going to lose out on the whole nazi loop.  It’s so weird that you feel it makes you less intelligent not discovering what it was all about.
He has pulled down your pants and fucked you until you bleed.  There is no meaning to his pretentious, schizophrenic work. The mere fact you can find anything remotely resembling a meaning probably means that you’re just as fucking schizo as he is. He has screwed you on your own bullshit inadequacies and egos.

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