You know the phrase “Rest in Peace”?

YES, WE FUCKING KNOW HE’S DEAD. YOU’D HAVE TO HAVE BEEN LIVING WITH YOUR HEAD UP YOUR MOTHERS VAGINA TO NOT KNOW HE’S DEAD BY NOW.

FOR THE FIRST 12 HOURS AFTER HIS DEATH THE MJ JOKES WERE SLIGHTLY AMUSING, BUT NOW THEY’RE NOT.

SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. ALREADY. CUNTS.

Let’s get straight to the heart of this thing, you cunts. Did I want her to die? No, not at all. Did I want her to get cancer? Certainly not. Do I think she was a chunky, worthless waste of space who didn’t deserve to grace the TV screen of millions? Abso-fucking-lutely.

When Jade Goody appeared on TV screens, we all laughed at her. We thought she was a stupid fat cunt who didn’t know her arse from her elbow and the only reason we found her so entertaining was because of the absolutely fucking amazing comedic-like stupid statements she’d come out with. Why did she become so popular? Because she was the “everyday moron”. She appealed to the heart of the average British people because she *was* the average British person; thick as shit and just happy going through life drinking, smoking and whinging.

So Jade got cancer. Boo-fucking-hoo. How many people people are diagnosed with cancer daily? How many people have been diagnosed with cancer, and have contributed far more to society and the world than Jade Goody ever did? Is this a competition? No, not at all, but I honestly don’t see why the fuck we should’ve been bombarded with constant fucking updates from someone who only became famous because she came out with such gems as:

“Who is Heinzstein [Einstein]?”
“Where is East Angular [Anglia], is it abroad?”
“Sherlock Holmes invented toilets.”

Is this the kind of world you want your children to live in? Following and sympathising with the plight of a woman who didn’t even know what fucking language they speak in the USA? Like I said, not that I wanted anything bad to happen to her, but she certainly wasn’t special enough to warrant being in the newspapers and TV every fucking day until her death. Far more important and worthy people die every day. Fuck the media for following this fat bag of shits demise, and fuck you for giving a crap about her, you absolute fucking wankers. Oh, and fuck Jade Goody.

True picture, by the way:

Fuck Christmas. Fuck those who celebrate and enjoy the festive commercial season. I hope the up-and-coming recession causes you to lose your homes and you become crack addicts, all because you put that stupid “jolly” festive Christmas jumper on your credit card.

Bah humbug, motherfuckers.